Predictor Of Futures Prints

I predict a huge fall followed by a lucrative job offer with a major cake baking company.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

European currency on the edge.

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"It will be all your fault."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

Pessimists v Optimists.

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'So, in 2079 you see the company breaking even. Can you give me some idea where you see things 10 years after that?'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"Someday, son, a giant conglomerate will find a way to harness the moonlight and make us pay for it."

What will happen in the world

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"I'm the ghost of your future retirement."