Precarious Penny Pincher Prints

Pensioner trying to balance on his finances

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"I just..."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Rising Gas Prices

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

Blowing dust off an order book.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

World's cheapest car

Handled all of my own investments

"Installed it himself ??" saved $50."