Practitioner T-Shirts

"People are always saying how stupid it is that the bst practitioners are always promoted and make poor managers....but I think that's complete rubbish...He was a lousy practitioner as well!"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

Junior Doctor.

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

How AI is altering the GP patient relationship

"It seems that your body is adjusting itself to the amount of multitasking you've been doing."

'What kind of side effects do you enjoy?'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

Playing Doctors.

Sleeping musician

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"I'm going to have to draw some blood."

"'Bleeding gums?' - There's no need for that kind of Language Mr. Davies...!"

An unlicensed acupuncturist

Give Thanks.

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'May I remind you that this patient is a very successful lawyer specializing in medical malpractice?'

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"So why is it that we only get to see you whenever you need a gruesome amputation?"

'Clive has just had a hip replacement...unfortunately, they didn't tell him what they we're replacing it with.'

Help Wanted: Faith Healer Healthcare Provider.

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"Race you to the spleen!"