Practical Learner Pillows

'Home Schooling'

'What training do I get?'

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I'm still pre-literate."

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'I did it all from memory.'

Education and Apprenticeships

'I think the computer has a crush on me. It asked me to remain after class.'

"We fell for this last time remember..."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'Remind me to never again ask him what he learned in school.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

'Would it make a difference if I told you I was listening to book on audio?'

'Miss, I think I've learnt all I can too.'

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

'Where's the mouse for this thing?'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

'To better prepare you for the future, I've replaced the letters in your alphabet soup with Chinese ones.'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'Why do I need to know stuff, when I can look anything up on the internet?'

Welcome to Kindergarten. It's a list of school supplies -- I need pencils, a ruler, crayons and a laptop!

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Modern Studying

'Pete plays truant, but keeps up with his lessons!'

"I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me at all! What bothers me is when other people know I'm wrong."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Balloons Experiment

A teenager is bent double under a globe-shaped school bag.

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."