Positive Vibes Advocate Pillows

"I'm a Rhy-YES!"

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

Critisize your weight.

"I always try to give out at least one genuine compliment per day. I don't always succeed."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

The Death of the Blues

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

The words 'Well done ' take seconds to say, but will be long remembered and appreciated.

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

The Three Kinds of People

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

Aging Problems

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

Girl's weight issues.

Fat fairy

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

Mentoring Unit: 'Go on! You can do it! You can be a mentor!'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'

Irregulars

"You call that complementary!?!"