Political Speech Survivor Pillows

I'm bored! Buck up! Enduring boredom prepares you for college lectures, political speeches and public television. Not to mention � It�s the key to so many successful marriages. I can't wait.

'No matter how cynical I become, I can't keep up.'

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"That's the last time I write my own resume!"

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

"People of Earth – can everyone see my screen?"

'And in conclusion.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

Press freedom makes democracy.

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'I take it the Change Seminar stripped you down to your vulnerabilities.'

"Will this job involve multiple choice, true and false, or essay questions?"

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

'Your resume is pure baloney. How'd you like to write political speeches?'

"A High-Pain Job? Yes, I believe we have that."

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

When boomerangs argue.

'What a great leader! That's the best 'spend now, tax later' speech I've ever heard!'

"Where do you see yourself after 5 beers?"

"Can you characterize yourself in five words."

I have an opening for someone like you. It's called a door.

The Collective Unconscious

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Republicans have me feeling reflective about capitalism, in a good way. Uh, oh. You've been with the company 20 years. I appreciate that kind of loyalty. I just want you to know that. Thanks. It also makes me realize that you have few other job options and thus are more or less subject to my whims regarding pay and benefits. Okay, pep talk over. Enjoy your day. Hang on, I could maybe possibly get a job at Coffee King!

Bored Meeting

"The long prayer peek."

"Your heart won't tolerate any more town-hall meetings."

A teacher walks into a classroom full of chatting students; once he starts to talk the students fall asleep.

'Are you nodding in agreement, or falling asleep?'

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

"The aliens that control my brain really want me to get this job."

"Oh no Henry - Not Another one of your proclamations!"

"How did you get so good at writing these fake ads?"

A silenced protester

'And that pretty much sums it up.'