Political Humorist Pillows

"Now when I go abroad I tell everyone I'm a Canadian goose."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

Mysterious eye disease in UK

"See? No socialists."

'Let me answer your question by having you arrested ....'

'Good news! Our lobbyist got us on the endangered species list.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'All those in favour of dropping 'limited liability' for 'no liability'.'

"Sire, the transition team is here to chop off your head."

'Now's here's a newsflash. Recent studies show that feelings of well-being rise with income.'

"Has Britain left Europe yet?"

"And now I'll open up the floor to softballs."

"This just in: alternative facts are not facts. They're lies. I'm a delinquent ten-year-old and even I know that."

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

How a bill becomes a law today...

First Politician On The Moon.

"The situation in Iraq appears to be going well, gentlemen. That, however, is a map of Staten Island."

"You denounce the scourge of American imperialism, reject the authority of the U.N. and the World Bank, and then a little joke."

'I crossed a weasel with a politician, and I just got another politician.'

Reagan's Relative Size.

If we hired the same way we elect...

"So you think you've thoroughly vetted this guy? Have you seen his bumper stickers?"

'And the record proves my mistakes are as valid today as they were when I first made them.'

"It's Athens, sir. They're offering to prop up the pound."

Not to do list - Vote.

'Flying pig in glass case. Sign reads: Break glass in the event of Tory victory.'

John Prescott

'Wrong door, wrong door!'

'Of course they argue about petty things and make stupid decisions. That's why I say Congress should be a TV reality show.'

'My pollster tells me it's 'position-switchero' time.'

Social security card.

'Today in Washington, a study group was formed to study whether study groups are a good idea...'

Obesity in America.

"Is there someone else we can talk to?"

'When I took the special-interest money, it didn't seem all that special.'