Political Humorist Pillows

"Now when I go abroad I tell everyone I'm a Canadian goose."

"That was Brad with the Democratic weather. Now here's Tammy with the Republican weather."

Mysterious eye disease in UK

"See? No socialists."

'Let me answer your question by having you arrested ....'

'Good news! Our lobbyist got us on the endangered species list.'

'...and on that you have my word.'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

"Sire, the transition team is here to chop off your head."

'All those in favour of dropping 'limited liability' for 'no liability'.'

How a bill becomes a law today...

"And now I'll open up the floor to softballs."

"Till Washington gets this healthcare issue figured out, Max here will be handling your procedure."

'Now's here's a newsflash. Recent studies show that feelings of well-being rise with income.'

"This just in: alternative facts are not facts. They're lies. I'm a delinquent ten-year-old and even I know that."

"Has Britain left Europe yet?"

First Politician On The Moon.

"You denounce the scourge of American imperialism, reject the authority of the U.N. and the World Bank, and then a little joke."

"The situation in Iraq appears to be going well, gentlemen. That, however, is a map of Staten Island."

'I crossed a weasel with a politician, and I just got another politician.'

"So you think you've thoroughly vetted this guy? Have you seen his bumper stickers?"

Reagan's Relative Size.

If we hired the same way we elect...

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

Not to do list - Vote.

'Flying pig in glass case. Sign reads: Break glass in the event of Tory victory.'

'Of course they argue about petty things and make stupid decisions. That's why I say Congress should be a TV reality show.'

'And the record proves my mistakes are as valid today as they were when I first made them.'

'Wrong door, wrong door!'

'Today in Washington, a study group was formed to study whether study groups are a good idea...'

'My pollster tells me it's 'position-switchero' time.'

John Prescott

Obesity in America.

"Is there someone else we can talk to?"

'When I took the special-interest money, it didn't seem all that special.'