Poetry Pundit T-Shirts

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

Wussapalooka

Poetry Journal. Any good submissions over the internet? No -- Just the usual bloggerel.

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

Siegfried Sassoon

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

Edward Fitzgerald.

Ben Okri

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

CEO du Jour

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Where does it all end up?

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

Obama Healthcare.

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Budget

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Fact amnesty"

Greek Crisis

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

Statue of Security

Tied up in red tape.

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."