Playing Sports Pillows

'Cricket Hits - By Dumb-Crambo, off his own bat.'

"Well, if we're playing tackle football I'll be the coach!"

Kid uses his violin as a golf club.

"Mr. Reynolds can't go out to play until he wraps up the Walderson contract."

"I have goals in life. Just last week I scored three goals!"

"Who's your new friend?"

"That's not what I meant when I said to warm up the pitcher."

'We can't keep calling time out and meeting on the mound. Eventually the ump is going to get suspicious...'

'If summer was just a few weeks longer, I think I could hit my stride.'

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

'Play your best. There's going to be a scout for the ten year olds in the stands!'

"Okay, feet, let's show hands you're just as good as they are."

"I AM at my usual position."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Remote control pirate bully

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Football Fans

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'My feet are killing me.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'