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"Your three minutes are up — it's Daddy's turn!"

Stage Realism

"We need to increase his dosage. He's breaking down the fourth wall."

"The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic." - Henry Ward Beecher

'Thomas won't stay off the stage. He loves his part in the school play - he's the commercial.'

'Don't worry about a thing, my Mom doesn't believe in spanking.'

"The Squire theater is just two blocks down, right on the corner. the show thee, 'Whispers of Danger' is a standard mystery, with a lackluster second act. Mis Laporte, however, gives the most lyrical and sensitive performance of her career."

Little boy dragon

Merry Widow

"She's been so creative lately."

Haircuts

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"Tommy!"

Pirate

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'How's the water skiing?'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

Rocking Horse

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

'Let's play doctor - I'll listen to your heart and you give me all your allowance.'

'We'll have him back on his feet and under yours in no time!'

'AQ popgun? I want a field model Browning pump chambered for the 3-inch magnum load.'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"Do that again, but cuter."

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"