Phone Call Avoider T-Shirts

'We've had to set-up a Call Centre to handle all our nuisance calls.'

'I could text you...I can fax you...I can email you...I could ring you...Lunch?...I can't make it.'

'At the sound of the tone, please leave a message.. unless you're trying to sell me something.'

"How many times do I have to tell, you, don't call me at work!"

Ring. Unless that's Catherine Deneuve, I'm not here. And make sure it's not Gloria faking a French accent.

"No, I'm not interested in a free ski weekend. Please take me off your call list."

"I only wish this was the final notice."

'Oh, Hi, Fred!...I was just thinking about you'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Even though I'm on the do-not-call-list telemarketers manage to ruin my hibernation again.

'Never fails,,, The second we sit down for dinner,'

'Who is this? Could you please stop cold calling me?'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

"Look, you guys call here all the time and we keep telling you - we don't tale telemarketing calls! If you call one more time, I..."

'My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references,'

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

A caveman sleeps with a club labelled 'Snooze' whilst a beaten looking rooster stands by.

'What part of school don't you understand?', 'The part between the bells ringing.'

"That was there to give idlers reason to not stop and chat."

Hiding From Social Media

Death can wait.

Not in the mood for human interaction line

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

Vending machine says: 'No telemarketers will call' 50c.

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

"Guess how I got even with the telecommunications industry today."

Other Walks of Shame

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

"Don't pretend it's a pet, you're just too mean to buy an alarm clock!"

Stuck in the Conversation Pit of Hell.

Instead of pretending we're not home, couldn't we just not do video chats?

Ring. If that me calling, I'm obviously not here.

The early bird goes back to sleep.