Phone Bill Analyzer Prints

"Technical support was free, but they charged me long distance for the call to India!"

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'I wish you'd put the heater back on Frank! Even the wall ducks have gone somewhere warmer!'

"He's refusing to pay the inflationary bits"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

'Hmmmmm. I wonder if there were any roaming charges to call the moon.'

'We've had our new simplified gas bill!'

Business restraining law firms

Hotel: Price List

"Please tell me it's a local call..."

"Hello sir - I'm from your energy supplier. . ."

'Sorry. In the time it took you to get out your credit card the price of smokes went up another 30 cents.'

TASERS...With the cost of electricity we could only afford 50 volts.

Justice

"Our gas bill's been levelled up."

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

Energy Privatisation

Thames Water bills rocket.

"Honey, have you seen the size of this phone bill?"

Caution! Peak power and electric bill shock possible.

'I understand the fee for medications. But how come I was also billed for side effects.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc. How many billable hours do I have left?'

"He's something new. Our phone bill now has a monthly stub perforation fee."

"That $36 is for the wrong number you dialed. It belongs to a lawyer."

"Is there a doctor in the house...preferably in-network?"

Financial Advisor. How would you describe your income and outgo? Instant conversion.

Feb. 28. Even in February

'Wow! Look at the roaming charges on our cell phone bill!'

'The threat of domestic terrorism isn't new. I've been paying utility bills for years.'

'Maybe I could get a phone minutes bail-out package.'

These text messages from the phone company are killing me!

Telephone Bills