Philosopher Of Masculinity Mugs

Men's Fragrances

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"If you could change just one thing about yourself, what would it be?" "I’d totally wish to have my brain put into a robot body." "That way I could live forever. Imagine living long enough to buy an iPhone 7000." "Wrong answer. An alpha male never lets on that he’s concerned about his mortality. Your answer should have been 'nothing.'" "The alpha male or female is not afraid of death, little buddy." "I think I’d rather wait for the 7000–S." "Stop it."

"Real men cry these days....."

"Good game.". . ."Good game.". . . "Nice game.". . . "Good game.". . . "I'm in love with you.". . . "Good game."

Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and

"I hate shaking hands with him, he always squeezes as hard as he can!"

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's on of those things you always see an alpha male do: stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls.

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."

'Is it a boy or a girl? We're going to wait for it to grow up and then decide for itself.'

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

"...And my Dad never gave me his approval. Which is why I try so had to be a perfect male specimen."

I saw that! Saw what? You just had tears in your eyes. The end of the movie made you cry! Did not. Why not just admit it? What's the big deal? It was a sad movie and you cried. It happens to everyone. You think you're above normal emotions? Are you better than the rest of us?! No. Fine, okay. It was sad. Maybe my eyes were a little moist. Girly man! Look at the crying girly man! Can't win.

'Are they street legal, and do you have some insecurity thing going on?'

Crocodile Tie

'Sure you can cry if you want to. Crying is right near the top of our 'acceptable behavior' list.'

Our tests indicate that you're a woman trapped in a man's body. I'd like to demand a sperm-count recount.

'It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is he died laughing before her could tell anybody.'

He' not a quitter - I

"You know, Ben, it's really cute how secure you are in your sexuality."

"Studly"?

Many of you were confused about the "Randy's How to be an Alpha" lesson from yesterday: "Live like you've got nothing to lose." You know what? I don't care. If you don't get it, that's on you. If you want to hang out with the big dog, either keep up or get left behind. I hope that demonstration clears up the confusion. If not, I couldn't care less.

Armstrong fired me. I kind of wish I knew why. Who cares why? A real alpha doesn't let himself get fired, little buddy. What you should've done was fire your boss before he had a chance to fire you. That way, thoughts of everything he'd lose would flood his brain and there's a 48.7% chance he'd actually beg you to stay. Isn't that the same number from your book "From Dump-ee to Beg-ee"? Work, romance ... it doesn't matter. All the relationships are the same.

Although supportive of the feminist cause,Jacques hated being distracted by pretty faces when studying the young Marx."

'That's what I call macho. . .That's George. Jogging home from his vasectomy.'

Moustache movement. - No. I

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."

"Do you ever feel as though the portfolio of your manhood should have included combat?"

I have an awful headache. Do you have an aspirin? Not so fast, little buddy. A real man doesn't mask his symptoms with pharmaceuticals. Even if it feels like a jackhammer on his forehead, a real man grits his teeth and bears it. A real man rides it out the way he'd ride out a bucking bronco. Not everything in life is a test of my manhood. A real man would beg to differ.

'I'm not a feminist, but...'

"O.K., let's confront the issues of masculinity!"

"Do you know its sexual identity?"

"O.K. boys, this is where we find out if we're REAL men!"

Bible Studly

'Macho man - you're out! We want a different image. . . We're using a 'new' man now - sensitive, gentle, debonair. . .and here he comes.'