Philosopher Of Food Pillows

I like worms --- I just don't know if I want to make them my life's work.

'Maybe I am thick, but I can't understand a woman who gives up her diet for Lent.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Carpe pizza"

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

Avocado Timeline

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."