Philistinism Ponderer T-Shirts

'There's one down there with lots of pretty pale yellow leaves.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"What was I thinking?!"

Chiller Theatre

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Plan to Split California into Six States Proposed....

"I'm learning to live with existence."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

The Lessons of VietnamThe Lessons of Iran and ContraThe Lessons of Iraq.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Ten Commandments

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Is this who I am?"

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"I cross the road to forget."