Pharmaceuticals Marketing Pillows

'Like to sample an antidepressant, sir?...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Apples for sale

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

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Dressed for Success!

CEO with SEO

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"