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'We all got up here, you'd think one of us would know how to get down.'

"Mr Whiskers will see you, now."

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Pet Entertainers

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

The Karate Kitten.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"So what if they notice a stain? Everyone gets tummy aches. Besides, we’re conserving energy."

"Are those my slippers?!"

"You're back. Hold on … just give me a minute."

Cat and Dog both eating from wrong bowls.

'Yeah, the carrot helps, but coffee is what gets me going in the morning...'

'I'm worried about that dog's hearing,Doris.'

'There are two men and a dog out there, and the dog is asleep.'

"Anatomy of a cat"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."