Pest Preventer Pillows

Product Testing Department

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

"Houston, we have a problem."

Good News about winter

Man using to much bug spray

'I found the termites!'

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Giant slug attacks a city

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Yes!" "Excellent!" The Daily Bug City considers pesticides ban

"Come and get it!"

When cockroaches go unchecked.

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"Be patient. It's almost dead."

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

“Oi! This is a no fly zone!”

Gardener with window box and giant slug.

Emotional Support Pest

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'

'Looks like we're dealing with a mule deer infestation. I can get rid of them, but you'll have to wait until they're in season!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Pied Piper

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"