
"Can you characterize yourself in five words."
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"Can you characterize yourself in five words."
I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....
'Look, you can only do so much!'
Team Leader
"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."
"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."
"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."
Do you have any other skills?
Pavlov's Puppy
'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'
'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'
"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."
"I'm looking for a 'yes man' who can say 'no' without sounding negative"
'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'
"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"
"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."
And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.
"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"
Help wanted. Various positions available.
'The position carries no salary, just healthcare coverage.'
"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."
Free-Floating Anxiety
'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'
"Would you like something you're under qualified for, or something you're overqualified for?"
"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."
'He will observe your text now...'
"We finally found a way to bottle enthusiasm."
Blok drives by New York City.
'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'
'You don't want the job, do you?'
Pavlov's Cat
"And where do you see your mustache in five years?"
Regardless children just want to fit in.
'Have you got a resume?'
'I see you have extensive experience eating, sleeping, and mating. That puts you two steps ahead of all the college graduates who have applied.'
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