Perk Protector Mugs

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'These are job perks.'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Coronavirus

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

Perks

'Closing the letter with 'Very fondly yours' seems okay but let's run it by legal, to be sure it cannot be misinterpreted as sexual harassment.'

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

"While Covid is still our top story scientists remain focused on Earth's pending collision with Jupiter."

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'

"Ralphie, no! Not on my Kindle!"

I'm trying to figure out what drives you... A new company car would be nice.

Super hero enforces handicapped parking law.

Apocalipsis

"Hey, that's your personal pan pizza. NO SHARING!"

"We're not getting a dog because I don't invest in non-profit ventures."

"At least we don't have to worry about intruders now we have a dog."

'Never forget that the best things in life are freebies.'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

'Jeckers, when I was a student we commonly at poultry...

Tred carefully mill.

'Hold on a minute. Someone stole my pen.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Drop the can opener!'

'Sorry about the smell -- I just had a mass extinction.'

Rabbits $5.

"Have they no shame?"