Perfume Salesperson Pillows

Pheromones.

'Have you no common scents?!'

'He will love this cologne. It smells like an undervalued stock.'

"Evening primrose" "Don't you evening primrose me you sexist pig!"

'Have you got something that says, 'I've got a headache?''

"I'm looking for a fragrance I can wear when my wife's not around."

"Whore of Babylon?"

'That bacon sarnie fragrance gets them every time!'

'This one should do the trick - CS gas was developed from it.'

'I'm looking for a perfume that will excite my husband. Do you have anything that smells like lager?'

"...And it has a pheromone which will make him submissive to you."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

Men's fragrances...

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

Woman thinking about luxuries.

"The antidote is $150."

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

'Have you tried out new Labrador Retriever Butt Scent?'

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

'This scent goes well with a diamond necklace.'

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"By the way, thanks for the cologne!"

'Bradley is a strict vegetarian. Do you have broccoli flavored lipstick?'

'Got anything with a little less musk?'

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

"It's our latest celebrity scent, it's called Elon Musk. It smells like money!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'Drive 'em wild with the sweet scent of net profits exceeding forecasts due to higher gross margins and cost-cutting.'