Pepper Perfectionist T-Shirts

'Is it local?'

Restaurant School: Fresh-Ground Pepper 101

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"By God, for a minute there it suddenly all made sense!"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"We only got up to three 'whys' and a 'what the hell'."

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"Or should it be scrum or kanban???"

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"You're welcome."

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Staycation Photos

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'this is the only place where no one is fooling around with the genes.'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

"Good morning - your neighbours have asked me to come and tune your piano."

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"If you have an emergency, use this pepper spray."

"Page 33, line 4..."

"Now you can send it."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'