Pensive Friend Pillows

A candle for the deceased.

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Seventy-five isn't the new anything."

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

"After Harry was gone I started decorating the house as a distraction. It was around the time I was wallpapering the driveway that I thought I should seek grief counseling."

'Mr. Willinston, whose depression has been giving him a fit lately, will see you now.'

Rape of the Lock- The Barge

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part One

Tunnel of Anxiety

"Ask me about my long face."

'You'll turn into a butterfly.'

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

"Time flies." "Time is money."

Open Up Your Heart.

'That contains my late husband's ashes - in the most fitting urn I could find!'

Ted never left anything to chance. His computer passwords were all 99 random characters long. . .

". . . Neither of you are fat, but I am. When thin people call themselves fat and gross what does that imply about me?"

Matched pair

'He thinks some bugs are kind of creepy looking.

"Are you sure there are no nuts in this muffin? I'm allergic."

Hunting, gathering, hunting, gathering...I keep thinking there must be more to life.

'Not guilty, but we wouldn't buy a used car off him, m' Lud.'

I Kissed a Girl's Face.

"How is everything, besides the obvious?"

"Love the pup."

'Anyway, I'll let you get on...'

Bug-Cam.

That afternoon, Colin's fear of spiders was to come to a head!

Loneliness of the elderly

"Don't ever catch it. You'll have nothing left to live for."

Bottled water. Frozen water concentrate.

"If you would like to receive a guaranteed annual income of a million dollars or more, press 'one' now."