Penny-pincher's Humor T-Shirts

"At your opening, I see that you had two glasses of wine, eight pieces of cheddar, eight crackers, and seventeen grapes. That, of course, will have to come off the top of your end."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'There will be no raises this year since the state now has a lottery.'

"I just..."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

Rising Gas Prices

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the cheapest tender...."

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

Blowing dust off an order book.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

Does your accountant share your enthusiasm for the future...We're fantastically excited about the new project!

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"All I have left to cut is my lunch money."

World's cheapest car

Me and my money are soon parted

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

Handled all of my own investments