Pedal Preacher Pillows

Vicar with a cross on his cycle helmet

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Black or white, Vicar?"

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Cycling with a harp case

Thou Shalt Not!

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Dogma

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

The ecumenical dinner party.

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Christian and Born again Christian...