Peaceful Cohabitant Gifts

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'He's strictly an indoor cat.'

'But you have your own drawer - what greater display of commitment could you want?'

"That word-puzzle gloat of yours is getting old fast."

"When we agreed that you would move in, Mr. Goodrich, you didn't mention Rex."

Trouble Ahead

LOVENUTS: 'We had just about had it,' Paula says.

I think my girlfriend is moving in.

"Good night. Sleep quietly."

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

'Oh no, it's that 'come hither and do the dishes' look.'

90% of annoying habits are discovered after you start living together.

"It's god's little get-back.... She had special haloes made for those who never put down the toilet seat."

"Your hogging the covers again."

"Come and get me, coppers!"

"There's one home in this area within your price range, but it has a mouse."

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"Can I move in with you?"

"I'm sick too."

'Either she goes, or I go.'

Fences Make Good Neighbors.

'We were divorced, remarried, and divorced again. Now we're just living together.'

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do object to you moving in with my daughter... My daughter lives here!"

Frog and Toad are a little bit sick of each other.

War & Peace

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

"See how much better our talks go when you keep your trap shut?"

'Noise abatement society' demonstration.

Shacking up Bureau

'It was so great to meet the neighbors and resolve our differences.'

'Thanks, guys, but I already have a religion.'

'Mr. Knucklepopper, I'm putting Ms. Gumsnapper next door. This way the percussion is all in one section.'

Smoking and no smoking.