Payroll Pundit T-Shirts

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed...'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

CEO du Jour

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Where does it all end up?

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

Eldrow

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Obama Healthcare.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Budget

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

Statue of Security

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Greek Crisis

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

Tied up in red tape.

"We'd like to publish it, do nothing to promote it, and watch it disappear from the shelves in less than a month."

Giant merger.

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

Diner is served

Power/Expenditures

"These are 'small bucks,' Josh. You have to work here a long time to get the 'big bucks'."

"Your book stinks—we want to publish it."

"Take the severance package, Hayward. The rest of the board wanted a ritual slaying."

'Take a letter,'

"Im..peach...ment!"

'Psst. It's okay in here, but don't go around calling $690 billion 'chump change.''