Payment Plan Pro T-Shirts

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

ACME Balloon Company.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

Propping up a profits chart.

"Want to trade banks with me?"

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'A penny for my thoughts. Now accepting all major credit cards.'

'I don't have the budget surplus ON me, dummy!'

Piggy bank...cash cow.

"Does it not gladden the heart to see Lowry adapt so well to our new low overhead policy?"

'They were two payroll cowboys riding together.'

"In keeping with my promise to spread the wealth, I'm giving you all a bigger piece of the pie."

'Of course, this plan requires that you all work for free.'

"Apparently, we don't negotiate for a pay rise anymore. We have to put forward a case for not taking a pay cut."

"Yes Sir, we'll schedule everything meticulously: your project will be delivered on time and on budget..."

"We thought we'd put in the details later."

"Dad said they'd sell like hotcakes, but they're selling like vegetables."

'Let's face it, you'll just have to pay by instalments and that's just for the deposit...'

Business Cards.

'I'm done with school because all I need to make a living is to know how to persuade my dad to give me money!'

'We haven't posted a profit in 15 years. I suggest we re-think our concept.'

"Those are my money managers."

'...and that concludes the emergency procedures. Since we have a few minutes before take-off, how many of you are familiar with 'Amway'?'

'These were from my early 'Corporate Period'.'

'My pay cheque is late. I'm imposing economic sanctions.'

Success is buying your experience cheap . . . and selling at a profit.

"I thought now might be an appropriate time to review your pension planning."