Pay Increase Enthusiast Pillows

'I'd like the IRS to collect more taxes from me. Would you give me a raise?'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'Take a letter,'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

'I've reconsidered your request for a pay rise, and I've decided that you do deserve one after all.'

'G-go ahead, F-Fred; p-pre-announce our disappointing 3rd quarter.'

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

After income tax, pension and national insurance I end up owing £450.

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

'I could be happy with less.. but I'd rather be ecstatic with more.'

'I don't really have a personal best. I'm just sort of OK all the time.'

"I agree you're due for a raise, and when you leave my office, you'll still be due for a raise!"

GP pay award wheel.

"The salary is excellent and the benefits are outstanding. So... which would you prefer?"

"Hi, this is Bill Gates. Time to buy some new software."

"Personally I don't think our salaries are too high - I see them as legitimate compensation for the emotional trauma we suffer due to the public's disdain for our high salaries."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

'I can't hear you. Fred, did you get the raise?'

'Today, tax free municipals rose...on news that what's important is not how much you earn, but how much you get to keep!'

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"

'Let me get this straight: The job comes with a full health care package? Including a dental plan? Impressive! What kind of salary are we talking?'

"Follow me."

Money is the Incentive.

'It doesn't bother me that I don't know what I'm doing. I'm paid vast amounts of money.'

'Earnings per share, then an asterisk. I like that.'

"For the first year, you get a cost-of-living raise every three months. Then, you hit the donut hole."

For Timely Filing

"If you are paying us like penguins don't expect us to fly like reindeers."