Paw Reader T-Shirts

Paw readings

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Humans are strange."

"Take a right at Rocky's fire hydrant. A left at Duke's bench and the dog part will be one block past buddy's tree."

Good boy

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Living with a cataholic.

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

Anthropomorphic Fiction.

"You taught him to bring the paper?" "Just the comics."

"Oh no, Mother. The dog is curled up asleep."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

If they were cats

Barking Today - 'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

'Buster was in a little accident, but he'll be good as new in 6 weeks.'

"He's a real dog person."

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

'No problem...'

I'm interviewing for a new walker.

"Are they still following us?"

'It's a symbiotic relationship- she gives me food, and I eat it.'

"Do those shoes taste funny to you?"

First library card

'Fetch!...Sit!...Heel!...Paw!...They're not great conversationists, are they?'

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

Dog sleepwalking after owner

"I think the Chihuahua's been up on the counter again. There are several paw prints in the butter tub."

"He doesn't have a 'life coach' mother, he has a 'life couch'.

"I don't fetch sticks, I acquire them."