Pattern Aficionado Gifts

'No money. I just want that hysterical outfit you're wearing.'

"Love the exposed chessboard."

Normal Paisley - Deadly Strain is Introduced.

Where Scottish milk comes from.

A man with a desert island on his shirt meets a man with planes on his shirt.

'Do you like the Hush Puppies?'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

When upholstery attacks

Got one with a smaller check?

The flannel mammoth.

The Art Student.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

"My girlfriend really went all out on this one."

"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."

Knit One, Pearl One, Drop One.

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Ladies reading a crochet pattern for amusement

Business School. Our case study is an umbrella company bankrupted by fabric costs. They were killed by high overhead expenses!

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Snapshots in Time

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Since we've remodeled, you are no longer here.

'Happy now?'

King Madras

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

Artex cartoon