Patience Tester Fan Pillows

"You're asked to arrive 2 hours early for your doctor appointment so they can start testing your patience."

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

DIY marriage counseling.

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Relax.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

"Coffee?! After 20 minutes of waiting, I'm FULLY awake without one."

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

Control and Out of Control Group

The interminable!

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"It's gotta be a good place – we've been ignored for well over an hour now."

'You've waited on hold 45 minutes just to speak to my boss? Seriously, sir, get a life!'

"Go already! Stop letting them in! Just think of yourself!!"

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"I can recommend the snails, if you don't mind waiting."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"The doctor will see you in a week - if you could still be ill a week on Wednesday."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."