Part-time Snob T-Shirts

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Everybody comfortable? Got what they want? Know their place?"

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"They'd sold out of #1's."

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"I believe this is one of Rembrandt's earliest selfies."

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

'I'll do half of it.'

" will enver read that book, and I"m eagerly waiting to avoid the movie."

"If I were writing fulltime, I'd have three unpublished novels by now."

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

'Listen my man, I am not being condescending, I am just trying to use words I think you may be able to understand. . .'

'The review said drinking this wine is like drinking a Rembrandt. All I taste is the frame.'

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

Fiction book sales.

"The city life isn't for everyone, so my second house is in the Hamptons."

'Great Books' 'Good Books' 'Trash'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

'Wow! That's probably the best Kyrgyzstani neo-realist horror-comedy crossover I've seen so far this year.'

The rivalry between the Hamptons and Cape Code spills over.

"Regift the bicycle, Charles, but put this in my Panama pile."

Ah! Bejezus...for the love of Mike...This wine is corked

More Vacuous Reality TV S**e

"You serve an inferior wine, Ted, but you have a nice view of Peconic Bay."

'Black dots indicate actual creative involvement.'

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"Don't you just hate Love Island?"

"I'm afraid it's still rather young."

Snob Vision

"Make me look like more of a people person, you paint-slinging nitwit."

"What's a good board for someone who gets out in the water once a year but talks about surfing incessantly?"