Parlour Patron Mugs

"That's not you talking, Justin, that's the sugar talking."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Tut and Carmen.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Wanna talk about it?

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"You've been free-running again, haven't you?"

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"I've been feeling a bit empty lately."

Tilted painting

Pub Kendo.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Yes, but is it art?"

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

John Ruskin

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

Parkour for the over-40s.

"Just iced tea, please. Hot coffee goes right through me."

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'Boozer's Week.'

'It's very quiet in here, with everyone Twittering away.'