Parliamentary Member Pillows

'The Conservative Government having been defeated, Mr. Disraeli continued to hold office, in order that the business of the Session might not be interrupted by a General Election.'

"... And to our friends in the Liberal Democratic party I award thirty pieces of silver."

'Hanson - committee of four.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

'Okay, let's go over this again: You tell me your great ideas, I repeat them back to you, then you tell me I have a great idea and I get all the credit for it!'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

"I cede the remainder of my time to the ranking member."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

Plain English group.

"We've been campaigning for years to encourage central government to delegate more powers to local authorities..."

'Take a letter,'

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

Mice in the Commons

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

"The steering-committee three are we. Run it by us, and we'll see."

Andrea Leadsom's memoirs

How To Spot A Politician

'...Nadine Dorries has sent you a present from Australia. She said as soon as she saw it she thought of you!'

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'That damn racial scandal.'

Br... No Exit

'Excellent - it's unanimous!'

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"I suppose the first thing to do is form an escape committee."

Theresa May's ignores a stab in the back.

'The gridlock, the cursing, the threats... and that was my day in Congress before the commute home!'