Parents Of Little Mozarts Mugs

"But the legacy I'd truly like to leave is creating music that future generations will use to sedate overstimulated toddlers."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bond James, Bond."

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"They grow up so fast."

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"This is a great spot to practice mighty roars son..."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

'Ahhh...'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Santa Claus's Mail

'I told you it would be useful.'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

baby sweetcorn...

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'