Parenting Innovators Mugs

"We're still figuring out how to monetise him."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'The stuka brought you.'

"I'd like my daughter to know something about engines."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

The conversion.

'It just says strange things happened after she ate the wafers. It doesn't mention their street value.'

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

"Look Daddy, at least the poor economy hasn't affected the Tooth Fairy yet!"

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

"Does it come with instructions?"

"I couldn't find the off switch."

"They came home and got straight on with their homework - apparently it's the latest craze."

"Mom, there's a monster under my bed. Can we keep it?"

Designer Baby.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers

"Which one's mine?!"

"What did I tell you about destroying Mommy's inner balance?"

'Oh, look! Baby's first text!'

'You read him Jack and the Beanstalk again, didn't you?'

"Support the head!"

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'I was well-informed, well-adjusted, a useful member of society - then I married.'

'I gave them shared parental leave and they left me holding the baby!'