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"What is the battle cry for homeschoolers?" Kids: "Go Home!"

"In economics, I got an IOU."

Something tells me it's not going to be a good school report!

Common Core Family Therapy

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"Don't listen to her! She's a cuckoo: what would she know about parenting?!"

'I have answers to the kind of questions no one likes to ask.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

"I thought those D's meant dedicated!"

'Before we begin, he's the one that's been helping me with my homework.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"I don't need your help with my homework. Actually, I was a little disappointed with your work last time."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"In fact, the work's been so good that we question whether it's Will's own."

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

PTA Meeting Tonight: Parents,Teachers,Attorneys

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

"He's at grade level for everything except cursing. He's swearing at a 9th grade level."

'She's taking Chinese and algebra this semester. Go on, Francine, speak a little algebra for them...'

Obama in schools.