Parent Of A Clever Child Prints

'Are you happy, dad? I'm good on reading! I can read fish dealers' websites... your credit card number...'

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

The Digital Family

Children in fancy dress on the way to music lessons

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

Philosopher trading cards.

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

Homeschooling

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

'So tell me again. Why can't you sit on the eggs and tweet at the same time?'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'Your son stopped passing notes to his friends in class. Now he's text messaging them.'

"Go ask your search engine."

Newborn Uses Smartphone To Send His Dad A Text Message.