Parent-in-training Pillows

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Playing Fetch.

Polly txt speak

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Why do they do that?"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"It get it – you're hungry."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"He was a very good boy."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

Cat Nip.

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"