Paper Peruser Pillows

'There's never anything new in the papers.' - 'It's the same thing happening to different people.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

Stop and Birch

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

'Be careful! She loves to curl up by the fire with a good author!'

Doo inc..can and no can.

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

Mummy Toilet Roll.

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"You go on without me; I'm just going to riffle through some papers. I so love to riffle."

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

'It's an EIEIO!'