Panhandling Paradox Ponderer T-Shirts

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

The Artist

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

"You dropped yer wallet."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"At first I was a bit worried about the comeback of wolves in Europe. But I must admit that they had adapted well to living together with humans!"

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

Inventing Time Travel

'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box

"Experimental 'no government' zone next 200 miles—by order of Trump!"