Paint Dabbler Prints

"Less panting, and more painting!"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

'I don't think he's so smart. I had to show him three times before he got the hank of it.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

Painting

My first mistake.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

DIY Shelves

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

'If we are to differentiate ourselves from the private sector we need to focus on a reorientation of our client-facing interactions to prioritise customer led positive responses to intervention scenarios.'

"How can you study while listening to music and TV at the same time?"

This salad tastes funky� Is this ranch dressing? Oh, I'm sorry, sir� I thought you ordered raunch dressing.

'Yes, been meaning to call maintenance to put up that shelf for ages now...'

Two men talking in front of half finished driveway. 'Your wife did mention you'd had an economy drive.'

I'm sure it's here somewhere!

I was having fun making log letters when someone asked "why?" So I Qui

'I hate his more-contagious-than-thou attitude!'

"He's finally installing our security system."

A knitter's in and out boxes

'The results came back negative. You won't ‘just die' if you don't get that new designer handbag.'

'I would like to be able to refer to this statistical graph, but I have math anxiety.'

'It's just a first draft.'

Toy boat on a tsunami.

Man sees sign at fortune teller featuring mind reading and mind boggling

"Do you want to do that hilarious thing where we read the itemized deductions and then say 'in bed'?"

DANGER - hook and worm...!

Visual Gag Cardigans Cars wearing Cardigans made for Cars

Ceramics Dept. (You Break It, You Bought It.) Book Dept. (You Speed-Read It, You bought It.)

'Sorry about the vessels; I can't seem to decide if I want to be a wine guy, or a beer guy.'

"I call it 'Cellblock Shiraz.' Don't be intimidated by the bouquet."

The sign reads - CAUTION, BOTTOMLESS PIT, NOXIOUS. The LESS has now been crossed out.