Pageant Critic Mugs

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Miss Diagnosed a female pageant winner for being the worst misdiagnosed entrant.

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

The return of Miss Subways

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"Aren't you ready yet?"

Here's How The Next Miss America Will Be Chosen

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Miss America IQ pageant.

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Beauty contest

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'Welcome to the Miss Universe Pageant! And for the 62nd year in a row, Miss Bermuda is mysterious missing!'

"Hi. My name is Tanya and, if elected, my agenda will be cheddar! Cheddar, cheddar, cheddar!!"

Miss Jumbo Queen Pageant.

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Sneer-leading

Beauty Contest

Blank Inside

'We've decided to skip the swimsuit competition on account of how disgusting we all look.'

'Those wellies don't go with that dress...'