Overwhelmed Scholar Gifts

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Genius Envy

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

Too big to fail

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"I don't know why we try so hard to get the right answers. There isn't even a prize."

'I failed history again. I guess those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.'

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Hey, it's me. I just sent you a text message responding to your e-mail saying that I should IM you."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"This has been a productive homework session!"

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

Work Life Balance Paperwork

"Lord, who or what is strewing my path to success with obstacles!"

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

I hate group projects

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

'She will not call on me, she will not call on me, she. . .'

'I'm having a day when I can't catch up!'

'You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading.'

"Six years of university followed by 14 years of postgraduate studies. You here for a job, or a seniors discount card?"

"A lot of homework?"

'So I make bad grades. Is it necessary for the school system to issue a written statement?'

"My report is on a man ahead of his time: Email Zola."