Oscars Hopeful Prints

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

May I have the envelope, please?

Hollywood or bust!

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

Oscars 2024

"Face it - in this town, either you're a star or you're just another brown dwarf."

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Welcome to Hollywood

"He's left a suicide screenplay."

'It's 'big office' meets 'poorly-received flop'!'

Oscars

Live the Dream!

"I'll bet Miss Parker gets teacher of the year for this."

"I'm sorry. We don't want a ring-tailed lemur. We want a ring-tailed-lemur type."

"This should be interesting. . . they're giving an acting award for best political lie. . ."