Orchestra Humorist Pillows

"Can you explain to me again how you keep sustaining this eye injury in an orchestra?"

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song, too."

A Symphony of Penguins

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

Elevator Music

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

Rap-scallions

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

Double Saxophone

'PHWOAR! You should have seen her rear end when she sat on the piano. . . played 'TINK' and 'BOOM' at the same time!'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

Edward Elgar.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'Never mind singing it in rap...a simple 'I do' will suffice.''

"Ding" "Dong"

No Instruments Please

Dr. Phil takes it home.

"Y'know, sooner or later we're going to have to let her go out unaccompanied."

'The Orginial Big Band sound'

"There can be no doubt. This proves it. We gotta have more cow bell."

Maurice Ravel.