Opening A Brokerage Account Mugs

Build Your Own Portfolio

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Wall St. or True Love.

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

Sales chart is buildings in background.

Will work for ETFs

'I know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about the bears and the bulls.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'