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Profit

Evolution.

Mark Zuckerberg

'The secret to my success? Even as a kid, I never accepted that annoying phrase, 'None of your business.''

Decision Making Block

Online Shopping.

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

'This is Adventure Capital! You want Venture Capital two doors down.'

How much did you lose when the stock market tanked last week, Randy? Nada, little buddy. A real man never invests in other people's businesses, he only invests in his own. If you lose on stocks, it's because you didn't research them enough. If you lose on your own business, it's because you gave it your all and it just didn't work out. Ladies see valiant failure as being way hotter than poor-research failure. That's from chapter 12 of my new book, "Randy 'The Rock' Taylor's guide to manvesting."

Internet Name Tags.

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall

'So far we've only managed to grab this one little piece of the web commerce puzzle.'

Internet Addict Anonymous

.com

I'm on a productivity drive.

Ebaying at the moon.

"Do I need to remind you that I have a huge Internet following?"

'I was real visionary. I was a web designer before there was an internet.'

"Of course I love you . . . didn't you see my Twitter feed?"

it's his way of easing into full retirement.

'Get out in the marketplace Merridew - hunt and gather man.'

'Don't worry lads, he's always on the internet these days.'

"It's the perfect online start-up. We'll sell bricks and mortar."

'I and my Blog'

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

Boss … Armstrong … I created a "Trump Generator." You input questions, and it outputs random nouns and adverbs strung together with words like "fantastic." I put it online a few days ago, and already it's getting 500,000 visitors per day. I guess what I'm asking is, why do all Trump's answers all of a sudden end with "visit House of Java Cafe, it's tremendous. It's run by a very smart man named Armstrong." I have no idea what you're talking about. By the way, did you know Russian hackers are sur

Today, business expert, Professor Ernie, will answer questions. The first is from an upholsterer who has lots of business but loses money on every order. The problem is that you're covering everything except your costs! The owner of a baseball team wants to know if you he should re-sign the team's best player, the league leader in double and triples. I don't think he can afford the high base salary. And a perfume company is struggling to survive. Their strategy has been to only produce exo

'I made up my mind to spend less time on line, and I was doing real well 'til they brought the computer back from the shop.'

Dot Sucks

"Why didn't I think of that?"