Online Security Worrier Pillows

'My credit card number is none of their beeswax!'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

The Atomium Bombs

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

The Government is now following you...

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Your computer is not fully protected...

'But what if my job doesn't want to go to China?'

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Rexie was just a click away from securing his owner a risk-free, high return investment, and a tummy rub for himself..."

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

The Dangers of Social Media

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

Username/Password

"Really? A password for a jar of pickles??"

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

Well, shoot, the passwords bark, woof, yap and ruff are all taken – Now what?

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.