Online Security Worrier Pillows

'My credit card number is none of their beeswax!'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

'The best way to protect your privacy is through a flood of misinformation obscuring the truth.'

'In the few remaining minutes of the lesson I can't do better than to show you how to fill an accident form.'

'See, I told you - nobody's job is safe!'

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about opening an e-mail from someone you don't know?"

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

Your computer is not fully protected...

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Rexie was just a click away from securing his owner a risk-free, high return investment, and a tummy rub for himself..."

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

"We don't need a digital security guard. Hackers don't actually come to our house."

The Dangers of Social Media

To insure Rodney's safe websurfing, Thelma sets her own parental controls.

'But what if my job doesn't want to go to China?'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

"To prove I'm human, and not a spam bot, this site wants me to solve the mystery of the universe. Why couldn't they just ask if fire is hot or cold?"

"I'm sorry your password needs to include upper & lower case letters & at least one number."

"Really? A password for a jar of pickles??"

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

"You are now $15,000 richer. I found the online password to your brokerage account 20 traders ago."

Username/Password

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"I typed the incorrect password for my online banking so much that not only did they lock me out - they locked me up."

Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.

"Password-sharing?! I only agreed to exchange vows...No one said anything about exchanging passwords!"